Pigs Can't Write
by Prince of Wolves
Summary: This story may turn out to be a continuing story line or a collection of adventures etc. RanmaxAkane  First Chap. Posted- Ryoga's gift  K for now


**Hi, this is a little experiment I'm doing, so I hope you like it. If I get a positive response, I'll continue. Please feel free to comment, and thank you for taking the time to read this. **

"Hey Akane, there's someone at the door for you!"

"HIYAAHH! Coming Kasumi!" came the distant voice of her youngest sister followed by the sound of a board breaking in two.

"Pop, I swear I'm gonna make you wish you'd never been born! This one's mine!" came a voice from outside, followed by a loud crash and the tearing of paper.

Kasumi sighed, "I guess I'm going to have to call the repair man again." She said, watching as Ranma and Genma wrestled over the last pork bun amidst a pile of wood and paper screen.

It was the heat of summer, and nearly three years since Ranma Saotome and his father, Genma had come to live at the Tendo Dojo. So much had changed since the Saotomes had come.

Akane, though continually rejecting the idea, had been promised to Ranma by her father. Though Ranma (who also loudly voiced his disagreement) acted as if he had no feelings towards

Akane, one would have to be blind not to see the bond the two of them shared; an affection that (strangely enough) showed itself most prominently when the two were fighting.

"Who is it?" Akane said in a singsong voice, emerging from the dojo with a towel around her neck.

"It's the delivery man; he said he has a package you have to sign for." Kasumi replied, disappearing into the kitchen.

Akane walked towards the front door, patting her forehead with the towel. _A package? _She wondered, approaching the delivery man who was holding a small wood crate, straw sticking

out the sides. "Here miss, if you'll just sign here." He said, handing her a clipboard. She scribbled her signature, taking the box from him before he walked away.

"Hey, what's this?" a voice said from behind her, and the box was lifted from her arms. "Hey, you jerk, that's mine!" she said, jumping as he held it out of arms reach.

"Look, it's from Pi-Chan!" Ranma said, giving the box a shake. "I wonder what's inside..."

"Don't be a moron, pigs can't write! Gimme that!" Akane yelled, grabbing the box and giving him a kick to the shin. "Ooh, it's from Ryoga, I wonder where he's training now?"

"Hey maybe he sent you another pineapple from _Wakkanai_." Ranma snorted.

"Hey, his sense of direction isn't that bad, you know Wakkanai is the coldest place in Japan, he probably just spelled Okinawa wrong." She said, prying the hinged lid open. There was a

note on top of the straw packaging.

_Dearest Akane, _

_I'm training in a place far from Nerima, deep in the mountains. I know by the time I get back, I'll be even stronger than ever, so please tell Ranma that I'm looking forward to fighting with him in _

_the near future. Enclosed I have left you some sweets I bought from a travelling Chinese merchant in Okinawa. Please enjoy them and __**be sure**__** to think of me**__ when you eat them- make sure _

_Ranma doesn't eat any. They're specifically for you. _

_Until we meet again,_

_Ryoga _

"Mmm, these aren't half bad." Ranma said through a mouthful of candy.

"Ranma!" Akane yelled, looking at the empty box of sweets. "Ahh." He said, patting his stomach as he finished them off.

"YOU JERK!" she said, clouting him on the head. "Ryoga sends me a present and the first thing you do is stuff it in your face?"

Ranma opened his mouth to make a snide reply when suddenly he paled, clutching his stomach.

"Ranma?" Akane said, "Are you all right?... Ranma!" Her fiancée's legs buckled and he collapsed onto the floor. She fell to her knees beside him, "Ranma? Ranma wake up!" she shook his

shoulder, but he didn't respond. "Someone, help!"

Pounding feet came down the corridor and Kasumi emerged from the kitchen, "Oh my, what's happened?"

Akane shook her head, "I didn't think I hit him that hard, he just fell to the floor unconscious!" she said, as Genma knelt by his son. "Wake up boy!" he said, shaking Ranma roughly by the

shoulders. "You know I can't pay your medical bills if you're sick-"

"Mr. Saotome! The last thing you should be worrying about right now is the cost of medical bills!" Akane yelled.

"Oh- right... I wonder if a coffin would just be cheaper, skip the medical treatment..."

"MR. SAOTOME!"

By the time they had gotten Ranma upstairs into the guest room he had worked up a cold sweat and was muttering incoherently. "Ranma you dummy... What's wrong with you?"

Akane whispered, pressing a cool cloth to her fiancée's forehead.

"I'd better go start dinner, I'll bring up some soup for him later, you should come and eat Akane." Kasumi said after assuring Ranma was settled. "No, I think I'll stay with him."

"Alright, well in any case we'd better call Dr. Tofu tomorrow. He could be coming down with the flu." Akane nodded, watching as her sister and the others left the room.

She got an extra pillow from the closet and leaned against the wall, making herself a little more comfortable. She flipped the cloth on his forehead and sighed. She hoped whatever was

wrong with Ranma would pass quickly, and that Dr. Tofu would be able to tell them what exactly had happened to him.

When she woke, she had slipped down beside Ranma so her head was resting on one of his arms. She blushed, sitting up on one elbow and seeing a half a bowl of cold soup that lay on

his other side. Kasumi must have been up earlier and given it to him while he slept. The clock on the wall read 8:36 am. She yawned and stretched out her cramped legs alongside her

friend.

She looked at Ranma, still unconscious but snoring softly now; it looked as if his fever had broken and his breathing was calm and even.

She smiled a little, noting the softness that had inhabited his features. Never had he looked so vulnerable as he did now. Ranma had never been a guarded person from what she'd seen

of him, but while he slept, a certain innocence showed itself on his face. His eyebrows were raised a little, his lips slightly parted, soft snores making the longer strands of his bangs bob

gently. She gently raised her hand, delicately tracing the curve of his mouth with her fingers. It was almost... _cute_.

"_Mm. Tickles_." She gasped, jerking her hand back. "Ranma- are you awake?"

"Ak...ane..." he mumbled. "Ranma, can you hear me?" "Akane..." He repeated, his voice slurred.

"Ranma?" A smile spread across the inert Ranma's lips and his arm lazily lifted as if reaching for a teddy bear. Instead, it wrapped around Akane and pulled her close to him.

Her face was beet red by now and her heart was beating furiously; she was enjoying this more than she would have liked to admit.

"Ranma... you pervert-" She wriggled a little, trying to get out of this position before anyone saw them, but Ranma's arms wouldn't budge. "_Ranma!_" she whispered urgently, puling as

hard as she could with both arms pinned to her sides. "Mmn. Nn..."

"_Ranma!"_

"Mm. Wha? Oh- my head is killing me-" Akane watched as two blue orbs opened, sighting the girl in his arms,"Akane!" He bolted up, eyes wide as saucers. "Akane?" he stared at her

blankly for a moment, "Why are you- What the heck is going on here...?"

suddenly a change came over his face. "_Oh Akane..._" he said dreamily. He sat up and grasped her hands in his. "I never noticed how cute you were before."

Akane just stared into those blue eyes of his, open mouthed. "Ranma are you okay?" Ranma nodded slowly, never taking his eyes of Akane. "We should get married, don't you think?"

"WHA-? Um... It's a little sudden for that don't _you_ think?" she said, panicked, "What happened to you, Ranma?"

He just shook his head, staring at her with a dopey expression on his face, "Nothing, I feel great. How soon do you think we could get married? I don't know how long I can wait."

Akane opened her mouth but was interrupted by a large smash as Soun and Genma burst in their room, tears streaming down their faces, "Ranma, Akane, congratulations!" Soun sobbed,

"We just know you'll take care of the dojo, I'm so happy!"

Genma chimed in, a serious expression on his face, "Ranma m'boy, it's your duty as a man to take initiative and produce the next heir for our dojo. We're counting on y-" he was

interrupted by a swift uppercut to the jaw, "Listen, no one is getting married!" Akane yelled.

Genma and Soun's faces fell.

"There's obviously something wrong with Ranma. Doesn't it seem a little strange that he passes out and then suddenly wants to marry me?" she huffed.

"Akane... does this mean you don't- want to get married? That you don't love me?" Ranma asked, cerulean eyes boring into hers. "Ran- Ranma... You know you wouldn't be saying this if

there wasn't something affecting you." Akane said, looking at her knees and blushing. Ranma gently tilted her chin up.

"Akane, if you don't love me, then I promise- I'll make you love me." Ranma stood up, just about to walk out the door when a gentle jab to a pressure point brought him to his knees.

"Dr. Tofu!" Akane exclaimed, watching as the Doctor stepped into the room, followed by Kasumi.

"I called him last night and asked him to come this morning; I didn't even know if he made house calls."

"Anything for you Kasumi." Dr. Tofu said, facing Genma and blushing. Genma graciously turned the doctor towards Kasumi.

"So, Ranma, what seems to be the problem?" he asked, facing Akane.

"Kasumi, maybe you should leave the room for awhile so Dr. Tofu doesn't accidentally kill Ranma." she said. "All right, I'll go start on breakfast then." Kasumi replied, "You're welcome to

stay as well Doctor." Tofu faced Ranma who remained paralysed on the floor, "Thankyou Kasumi, you are very kind."

Once Kasumi had gone, the doctor, after returning to himself, released Ranma and checked him over, asking him questions and prodding him with various instruments from his bag.

"He looks perfectly healthy to me- what is the last thing you remember?" "Akane..." Ranma said dreamily. Akane rolled her eyes.

"Ryoga sent me a package of sweets from Okinawa he'd bought off a Chinese merchant. Ranma, being the _pig _he is, took them and stuffed his face."

"Hmm, may I see the box they were in?" Akane left and retrieved the box that had contained the candies. She handed it to him. It was a red cardboard box with tacky pink hearts all over

it. Chinese was scrawled over the front in silver.

Tofu shrugged, "Unfortunately I can't read Chinese, but my best guess is that Ranma has a bit of food poisoning. The best remedy for that is to drink a lot of water and bed rest."

"But that still doesn't explain why he's suddenly in love with me!" Akane said, watching as Ranma traced hearts on his bedroll.

Tofu smiled, "Well, maybe he's finally showing you his true feelings. If you'd like, there's an older woman who comes into my clinic sometimes for arthritis salve, I know that her and her

grand-daughter are fluent in Chinese-"

"Of course! We can ask Shampoo to read the box for us." Akane said, grabbing the box and taking Ranma's hand to drag him up.

"Thank you Dr. Tofu!" She said, pulling a blushing Ranma out the door.

When they arrived at the Cat Cafe, Ranma was still clutching Akane's hand. Akane reached for the door, but Ranma stopped her, "Here, let me." He said, holding the door for her. She

blushed, smiling at him and walked in. The Cafe was empty, save for Shampoo who was wiping down booths.

"Hiyah! Oh, Ranma, you come early this morning to invite Shampoo to date? Why you bring Akane?"

Ranma looked at her blankly for a moment, "Sorry, do I know you?" Shampoo frowned, and then laughed, "Oh, ha ha, funny joke you make Ranma!" she said, smiling.

Ranma looked confused, "Sorry, but I really don't think I know you."

Both girls looked at him incredulously, "Ranma, she's been chasing you around these past couple of years competing with Ukyo and Kodachi for your hand in marriage! How could you

forget about that?" Ranma shook his head slowly, "Sorry, Miss Shampoo, but Akane is the only girl for me. I don't know an Ukyo or a Kodachi."

Shampoo's hands flew up to her mouth in horror, "You mean, you no love Shampoo?" Ranma scratched the back of his head, "I'm sorry, but I don't even know you."

Shampoo fell to her knees, tears streaming from her eyes, "Why you no remember Shampoo?"

Akane stepped forward; she knelt down beside Shampoo, "Hey! It's not like that, Shampoo!"

Shampoo looked up suddenly, anger in her eyes, "What you do to Ranma, Akane?"

"Listen Shampoo, yesterday Ranma ate some Chinese candy that Ryoga sent me, he passed out and this morning he's suddenly in love with me! That's why I came here; I have a feeling

that these sweets are what have caused his sudden... change. Unfortunately I can't read Chinese."

Shampoo frowned a little, wiping her eyes, "Let me see box Ryoga send."

Akane handed her the box. She took it, frowned and sighed. "Stupid Ryoga."

"What is it?" Shampoo handed back the box. "Box say, 'Whoever eat these love candy will awaken to find true love.' It mean whoever the person see first is the person he or she will fall in

love with."

Akane sighed, _I knew it was too good to be true... _she thought.

"Box also say, that as long as two lovers do not share kiss before midnight on third day after eating, spell will be broken." Shampoo said, "So as long as you no kiss Ranma, is okay."

Akane nodded. "Alright, c'mon Ranma." Ranma nodded, smiling and going to hold open the door.

Shampoo put her hand on Akane's shoulder before she left, "Akane?" She turned to face the young Amazon. "Yes?" Shampoo had tears in her eyes.

"Please no kiss Ranma. Is no fair for Ranma to forget all girl he ever see." Akane smiled, "Are you kidding me? Of course I won't! I would never-"

Shampoo smiled a little, "Akane, maybe you think you hide feelings well, but everyone know you love him just as much as I do." Akane blushed and Shampoo laughed, going back to wiping

down the booths.

**Sorry it's so fast paced, I probably shouldn't have rushed it so much. Please tell me what you think, I'm open to constructive criticism and the like, so feel free:) Thanks for reading.**

**- P.O.W  
**


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